Not A Good Reason (Alexandria Whitney Mystery) Read online

  “Do you truly believe that Dez wouldn’t take you back, if you gave her the chance?” Sam knew from her past conversations with Cyn, that Dez regretted her actions and wanted Alex back.

  “Dez misses being taken care of. I’m not so sure she misses me, the person and not me the maid?” Alex would love a wife, occasionally, to take care of her.

  “I’m not so sure that’s the only reason.” Sam liked being taken care of this way. “But I will admit that I could be accused of the same thinking. But I don’t want you to think of yourself as the help around me. In fact, today you are not to lift a finger. You took care of me the past few days and now it’s my turn.”

  “I’m not looking for pity. But, if you insist, I’d be happy to let you grant my every wish.” Alex rolled over on top of Sam and let her know exactly what she could do for her now.

  “I live to serve, Darlin’.” Sam hoped a few hours in bed would do the trick and get Alex out of this funk.

  “And you do it so well. But it’s not all about sex, its spending time together. Like talking or joking around. You know, lying on the sofa watching a movie. It’s just that sensory connection that I need. This is going to sound very Freudian, but I have to blame my mother on this one. Being raised by a cold detached harpy was really tough. I wanted loving reassuring physical contact from my parents. It was little from my father, only because he traveled, and none at all from my mother. I watched the other kids get hugs from their mothers when they were dropped off for school. I was lucky if my mother brought the car to a complete stop, so I could get out. It wasn’t until I lived with my grandfather that I found out it was her and not me that was the problem. It took quite a few long talks with him and a lot of reading to help me figure it out.” Alex suddenly realized that Sam was learning something new about her as well.

  “It sounds like you and Oliver have a lot in common. That could be why he’s taken such a liking to you.” Sam was a little jealous, since she was the one who brought him home from Pennsylvania.

  “You’re right. Two orphans so to speak. It’s a good thing we have you in our lives.” Alex gently kissed Sam and then jumped out of bed. “Time to get up. Daylight’s burning and you have chores.”

  “On Sunday?” Sam pulled the sheet over her face and pretended to snore.

  “What happened to my servant who wasn’t going to let me lift a finger?” Alex was ready to pull the sheet off when Sam made a valiant attempt to copy her move and jump out of bed.

  “Oh my gosh. Will my back ever be pain free again?” Sam caught herself in mid jump.

  “Go take a hot shower and I’ll cook you breakfast. Then we need to get the laundry going.” Alex gently rubbed the middle of Sam’s back as she pointed her towards the bathroom.

  “Okay Darlin’. I’ll make it quick.” Sam shuffled off to the bathroom as Alex stripped the sheets off the bed. So much for not lifting a finger, but at least she was going to get some help.

  The washer and dryer were behind the garage in their own little shed. The snow that had fallen while they were in New Mexico for Christmas was all gone and nothing had been added since. The average temperature for this time of year was in the mid-thirties, but it was a little warmer these days. Not close to the seventy degrees hit back in the 1930’s, but high fifties and pleasant enough for Alex. The sheets and bath towels would make one load and then delicates and permanent press items for the next load. Sam’s training uniform wasn’t all that bad, but her sweat pants and shirts were a disaster. It was nice Sam was given five sets as part of her training and at no cost to her. But seeing the beating they were taking it was obvious they weren’t going to be in all that good of shape when she finished the academy.

  Sam appeared warmly dressed with a towel on her head and a wide smile on her face. Alex was scrambling her eggs while the bacon sizzled in another pan. As soon as the toast popped up Alex could put it all on a plate.

  “Can I go start the washer?” Sam appreciated all that hot water soothing her sore back.

  “Yes you may. I’ll have your breakfast waiting.” Alex waved the spatula at Sam to make it snappy.

  “I’ll be back in a flash.” Sam was out the door and then realized she was barefoot. She needed to keep going and just tough it out.

  When she flew back in through the back door her feet were numb. Even after living with Alex for two months she still wasn’t used to this cold weather. Even though it wasn’t all that much warmer in New Mexico this time of year. Alex loved it and was only wearing a T-shirt and sweats, Sam had on a long sleeve T-shirt as well as her sweat suit.

  “Don’t you look cute in your cadet sweats? Thanks for doing that. Now go put on some socks before you catch a cold.” Alex knew Sam liked to come off as a tough guy, and her temper was now part of that personality. But she was also a bit of a kid at heart.

  “Yes boss. Is there anything else I can do before we eat?” Sam didn’t feel her pushing a button on the washing machine was all that much work, and ran to get her socks.

  “After breakfast. Now please sit and eat it while it’s hot.” Alex smiled as she placed the plate piled with food on the table and then poured a cup of coffee for Sam as she slide across the kitchen floor with her socks on.

  Sam’s plate must have had three eggs, six strips of bacon and several reheated pancakes that were left over from yesterday’s breakfast. She looked at Alex’s plate which had two eggs over easy and several pieces of bacon. Then Alex placed a plate with toast between their settings and finally sat down.

  “Wow, I hope I can finish all that. But I’m going to give it my all.” Sam was very hungry, but didn’t want to look like a pig and eat all the toast. But it was one of her favorites.

  “I’m sure you will. I’ll take a piece of toast and the rest is yours.” Alex hadn’t quite lost all the weight she’d gained over the holidays.

  “Thank you, so much. I’m glad it’s not raining or snowing. That would really make doing the laundry a bigger pain than it is.” Sam said it before she remembered just how little her part was. “Because as you know I’m so overworked and such a whiner.”

  “Well you did plenty when I was laid up. I remember all that so I can’t really complain. I’d say we’re even overall for the time you’ve lived here. I just miss having you around all the time when I’m home. Talk about whining. Whoa, I’m really getting good at it.” Alex was at least being honest about it.

  “No worries. Remember I was living here rent free, so basically I was working for my keep. And I must say the fringe benefits were fantastic. I loved my job as your caregiver.” Sam knew she owed Alex a lot, but had every intention of paying her back with interest. “So is that the extent of chores – laundry?”

  “Sorry, No. I want to unpack all the boxes that are up in the garages. All the ones that Dez packed for me. I need the rest of my clothes. I’ve worn the same thing over and over again, so that I’m wearing them out. Plus I have some knickknacks that I’d like to put out so the place doesn’t look so bare. Give it more of that crazy cat lady feel.” Alex raised her eyebrows and smiled at Sam as a lot of her stuff was cat related.

  “How crazy?” Sam wondered just how much stuff she was talking about.

  “Stuffed animals, figurines, pictures, pillows, not that much. But pretty much all about cats. You have to remember I was with Dez for five years and she had six cats.” Alex did miss them and wondered if Sam would be up to getting one someday?

  “Wow, six cats. That’s quite a few. Do you miss them?” Sam had a horse, which she needed to visit one of these days before he forgot who she was, and that was it.

  “I really haven’t thought that much about it. They were great company when Dez was gone a lot. But truthfully I haven’t had that much alone time to miss them. Maybe if you’re gone as much as Dez was I may start. But if I did get a cat it would be a rescue and you’d have a say in the matter.” Alex felt a cat was a poor substitute for her lover, but it was something to cuddle with.

  Sam c
ould tell by Alex’s expression that it could be a problem down the road, if she let this new job consume her life.

  “Well my priority is to you first when I’m home. I really don’t see my job in this quiet little town becoming all consuming.” Sam really believed with all her heart that this would be the case.

  “I sure hope so. But when I was with Dez I really didn’t socialize that much. But now with TJ, Carol and Oliver are around I shouldn’t get that lonely.” Alex was going to be more assertive when it came to keeping herself busy with outings or home projects.

  “Great. I’ll move my truck out so we can get up in the storage unit. It will give me a chance to rearrange all my stuff, so we will be able to get to our camping stuff easier.” Sam had unloaded her stuff with no organizational thought at all.

  “Perfect.” Alex ate the last bite of her breakfast and finished off her coffee.

  “You’re done?” Sam was only halfway finished.

  “Yes ma’am. Daylights burning and I’m in the mood. So I need to get moving before it passes and I want to spend the day on the sofa watching old movies with you and Oliver.” Alex wouldn’t need much of a distraction. She wasn’t looking forward to opening up a part of her life that didn’t end happily ever after. “But you take your time. I need to rearrange some stuff in the closet.”

  “Okay. I’ll come and help you when I finish.” Sam picked up the pace, but not so much that she would give herself indigestion.

  Alex opened the closet and looked at how much room she had for more clothes. It was a good thing Sam wasn’t a clothes horse or they’d be in trouble. The guest room closet wasn’t all that big and was going to be used to store their bulky winter coats and rain gear. Alex was nearly done moving it all out and wondered if Sam had finished her breakfast. Just then she walked in wiping her hands on her sweats pants.

  “I’m not that slow, I did the dishes too.” Sam smiled widely.

  “You are so good. I’m done moving the bulky stuff out. So all rain gear and heavy jackets will be in the guest room closet. Okay, does that work for you?” Alex figured Sam wouldn’t care.

  “Fine with me. So now out to the garage?” Sam needed one of those jackets if they were going to spend any amount of time out there.

  “Correct.” Alex grabbed her sleeveless polar vest and headed out.

  “That’s all you’re going to wear?” Sam shuddered just at the thought of being cold.

  “Yes, little girl. That is until I work up a sweat and then it’s coming off.” Alex turned and smiled at Sam who was coming out of the guest room zipping up her down jacket.

  “You are so weird. What happens when you hit menopause?” Sam loved Alex as her own little bed warmer.

  “I will probably spontaneously combust the first time I have a hot flash. I can’t imagine being any hotter than I already am.” Alex hit the garage door opener and loved the blast of cold air as she walked out the back door.

  “I hope not. But you may get lucky and skip that part of the hormonal change.” Sam wondered what that was going to be like for the both of them.

  Sam jumped in her truck and backed it out of the way. Alex lowered the tailgate of her F1 and jumped in. She could place the stuff that was going to stay in storage in the front of the bed and hand Sam everything else to take inside. The majority of the items stored in the front were all Sam’s things and going to stay in the garage. Items like her camping gear, cooking stove and utensils which they could use this spring. Then she started on the numerous boxes of which none were labeled. Typical of her ex Dez, to value her time tossing everything into a box and not the person’s who had to unpack it. This meant having to look in every box to find what she wanted. As Alex opened each box she became more and more angry. Dez had packed every gift Alex had ever given her. It seemed she didn’t want anything to remind her that they had ever been together. By the time Alex opened the fifth box she was at her max and needed to vent her anger.

  “What a bitch! I can not believe this. I just want to scream at her and ask her what the hell?” Alex jumped out of the truck bed and walked out of the garage. “GOD DAMN IT.”

  Sam had never heard Alex use profanity before and could see how angry she was. Now she just needed to wait for Alex to tell her what was up.

  “Alex.” Sam didn’t know what else to say.

  “I’m sorry Alex isn’t here right now. A very angry shrew has taken her place and wants to strangle her exgirlfriend.” Alex started to shake.

  “What’s wrong?” Sam wondered what triggered this response.

  “She packed up everything I ever gave her or we bought together. It’s like she didn’t want anything to remind her that we were ever together. God I hate her right now. I can’t believe I ever felt sorry for her being alone. She deserves to be alone – FOREVER.” Alex felt Sam behind her and turned to pull her close and let the tears flow.

  Sam could feel her trembling as she wept deeply. It wasn’t that Alex missed Dez, but that someone she had been so in love with at one time would toss the memories of what they had together in an unmarked box. How could she be so cold and cruel? A few minutes passed before Alex calmed herself, feeling Sam’s arms around her and knew she wasn’t like Dez. Did she need to feel sorry for Dez? It was her loss that she chose to forget all the good times and fun they had during their time together. Was this also a release of emotion from not really dealing with the breakup? Alex hadn’t had time to mourn the loss of their relationship. She had shipped off to the ranch after the attack and met Sam; then went back home and school, only to deal with Richard Greenway once again. Then another trip back to the ranch for the holidays. So now here she was an emotional basket case about every little thing and wondering why.

  “I’m fine now.” Alex patted Sam’s arm as she leaned away to look at her.

  “I’m so sorry she hurt you like this. But maybe she doesn’t know how to handle it any other way. All this stuff would only be a reminder of what she lost and that it was all her fault.” Sam hoped that was the reason.

  “Maybe you’re right. Dez wasn’t as sentimental as I am. I hope she thought I would appreciate all this stuff more than she would.” But Alex also knew how controlling Dez was and to have all this stuff out of the house was one way to be back in charge again.

  “Let me get up there and find the boxes with your clothes. We can sort through this stuff another day.” Sam could do this chore without the drama.

  “Sounds good. But I want to mark the boxes I’ve already opened. No need going through them again.” Alex went back into the house to get a marker.

  The sound of TJ’s truck coming up the drive was a pleasant surprise for both women. TJ had been out early and brought them their favorite coffee treat.

  “Can I interest you two in a Mocha Latte?” TJ had the cardboard carrier in one hand a bag in the other. Slamming the truck door with her hip she walked into the garage.

  Sam took the lattes from the carrier and put them on the tailgate. Alex emerged from the house with a smile on her face and locked eyes with TJ. She wanted a hug from another person she felt would understand her distress. TJ looked at Sam as Alex silently squeezed her tightly and let out a big sigh.

  “What’s up? Did I come at a bad time?” TJ wondered if they had another fight.

  “Have you ever considered the meaning of justifiable homicide? I have, and was ready to commit it ten minutes ago on Dez.” Alex was going for a laugh, but the anger was still there.

  “What happened? Would a Sugar Free Muffin help?” Once again TJ looked at Sam wondering what triggered this.

  “It wasn’t anything I did this time. Alex will explain.” Sam held up her hands and was glad she was in the clear.

  Sam pulled out a couple of folding chairs and Alex warmed her hands on her latte. Then she explained to TJ what had just transpired moments before she arrived. TJ had always thought Dez was different, but this was down right weird to her. Yet she didn’t know that many lesbians, let alone women in genera
l to know if it was weird or common. Alex would have called it a day after marking the boxes, but TJ’s presence and the latte had energized her to keep going. Sam and TJ opened boxes and pulled out clothes which were mixed in with other items that might get Alex fired up again. Alex’s new job was to take them into the house to hang up or be put in a pile to wash. The mood had definitely changed and Sam gave TJ a soft punch to her shoulder and mouthed a thank you for her coming by.

  “So why were you up and out so early on a Sunday?” Alex was sorting the pile of laundry into whites and colors.

  “I just woke up and decided to get up and out. I tend to be a recluse when I’m depressed. So I took my B-12 and headed for town. Had breakfast at the diner and hit the coffee shop and now I’m here.” TJ had thought her depression days were gone, but that was before Cyn broke up with her.

  “B-12 does that help?” Alex could use a boost right now.

  “Some people think so. What the heck, I’ll try anything.” TJ shrugged her shoulders as she found another mixed box of clothes and knickknacks. “Do you want everything that has a cat on it in one box?”

  “Yes, please.” Alex grabbed a pile of clothes and headed for the laundry room.

  “What’s the word?” TJ nudged Sam who was lost in thought.

  “A little concerned. Alex seems to be extremely emotional lately. Maybe she’s having hormonal issues, but she seems to go off about stuff that isn’t that big of a deal. At least to me. Can she be under some influence that I’m not aware of?” Sam was beginning to wonder.

  “You mean a little nutty. Not Alex, she’s a rock. I mean I can understand about the boxes and giving her stuff back. At least Cyn hasn’t done that to me, yet. So I have to assume this is a little over the top in the breakup department.” TJ knew Cyn wouldn’t part with any of her gifts.

  “Maybe, I guess we all deal with this kind of stuff differently. I physically threw my best friend off the porch when I found out she was sleeping with my girlfriend. I guess swearing and tears are another way to handle it.” Sam verbalizing all this helped her understand Alex’s mood.